high people should be assigned attendants
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
