i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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