we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
