the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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