that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
