connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
