I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
