I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
