Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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