btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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