I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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