Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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