i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
