Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
