i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
