Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
