My brain says no but my pants say off.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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