I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
