Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
