They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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