yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
