Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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