I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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