fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
