I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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