The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I got chris browned last night
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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