Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
