Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she smelled like a LAN party
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
