He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
