Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
