Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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