How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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