I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
