did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
