is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
