I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
