We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
