Pants 0. Shit 1.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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