Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
