About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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