Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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