I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
