okay pat passed out under dana's car
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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