question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
