he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
