they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm just crazy horny about you
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
