I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
