Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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