blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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