don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
