I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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