I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
