Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
